Tuesday, August 7, 2012

“If you want to have a better future, create it.”

I'm not one to moan on about things. But sometimes I need to let things out and I guess there is no better place then here. I am keeping a blog as a reflection of my life and to look back on both the good and the bad, will be of value in the future. 

I am the 1st to admit that life hasn't felt that great this year. It was hard being pregnant (I almost felt depressed and really unwell) and starting our homeschooling jounery.  We were struggling with renovations and being in debt. Mike was working really long hours as well, so it was usually me managing all the kidlets.

Then Danion came 4 weeks before his due date, I wasn't organised, thinking that he would come on his scheduled c/s date (silly me!).  The recovery this time around was horrible, I experienced alot of pain, and the recovery seemed to take longer.  The lack of sleep from getting up to Danion, Braith and Kaydence has been, well, more then draining!! Still is!

I had doubts about my ability to homeschool and have a happy family, I even rang the local schools to get enrolments for the kids!! And I SWORE that I would at least give it a year before even contemplating possible failure!

But I was lucky enough to have some of my wits and remember that another homeschooling family I knew were with a small distance ed school, so I met up with them, and thankfully they had a place for us! So we are still homeschooling but with a better foundation, clearer focus and happier kids. We still have 'those' days but they are fewer, and we can access more excursion days, and teachers on call as well :) 
We then had tonsillitis and a virus go through the family, so for the last month at least one or more of us have been sick!! We're only just starting to get out and about again!

The year has flown by, and I've only just started to overcome the 'rut' that we are/were in! I'm starting to realise that if I don't actively grasp each day in my hands then it will slip on by in a blur of sleeplessness, chores, school work and chasing after babies. I really want to be able to look back on these years and have them be the GOLDEN YEARS, I don't want to be 60 and retired to start 'finally' enjoying my life.

And you know what? I feel ashamed to be complaining about things!!! I have a good life. We have food in our bellies, a roof over our heads, we have our health and we have each other.

But I don't feel like we're 'living life to its fullest'.

So I'm making some changes. To make life feel easier. To get the most out of the time that I have. To have some fun with my family. To really seize the day and make it count.

Mid-life crisis? Perhaps....

I'll let you know how it turns out as I start implementing things, wish me luck!! :)


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